Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Naomi's Hair Woes


I am hair obessed. Always have been. For this reason I stood up and took noticed when a lot of cybertalk appeared about the state of Naomi's hairline. Photographic evidence has confirmed that Miss Thang's edges are in serious need of help. Now, I'm not posting this to make fun of Naomi because I've been there. Broken edges are not to be taken lightly and can cause a girl (or a grown ass woman) to lose herself every now and then. This kind of frustration can take many forms. I for example, have thrown down my hair brush in disgust after looking at shed hairs in the skin. Maybe in Naomi's case, the cell phone was a closer reach. Maybe just maybe, one of those assistants of hers bounced into the room, blonde ponytail a'swingin' and told Naomi that she should just put on a baseball cap if she was having a bad hair day. Maybe this was not what Naomi needed to hear at that moment. I am here to help. Naomi, you are special. You know why? Because seriously, what other black woman could rock four feet of weave on a daily basis and not catch hell for it. We all remember that Michael Jackson video where you rocked that pony like a black Rapunzel at Freaknik. We don't know how you pulled it off but you did and we all gave you a pass. But seriously, girlfriend, that was in 1992. I know that on occasion you have been known to send that hair out to the cleaners and worn either a short bobbed wig or weave but you always seem run back, arms wide open, to re-embrace the pony. For the most part, it has always looked fly. Believe me, I may wear my own hair natural but I do not hate the weave. Bangs or no bangs, you always looked flawless and your weave was tight. Unfortunately, it has come to our attention that the weave was too tight, and the weight of all that hair and wear was taking it's toll. Girl, it is time to step backi from the yaki.

I remember reading an interview with you years and years ago in which you mentioned that you considered styling your hair in a short afro but somebody convinced you that you didn't have the right face for it. I am telling you right now that that person, whoever it was, was a hater. You had the face for it because you are freaking NAOMI CAMPBELL!!! If you created fire, that person would have tried to to stamp it out. Repeat this to yourself. You are not your weave. It's not like you haven't rocked the shorter styles before, it's not too late, you can go back....please, before it's too late and your hawking a line of synthetic wigs like Brandy. Here, I've assembled some photos here to remind you of how good you look without that mane

Option #1: Everyone loves a baldie:

Option #2: Just put a wrap on it

Option #3: In the summer months, braids are a girl's best friend

Option #4: Paging Ms. Fierce, party of one..

Option #5: Remember, keeping some texture does not mean losing the white boy

Option #6: A dollop of gel will get you out the door in 10 minutes

Option #7: Roller sets. Not just for Grandma anymore

Option #8: Get reacquainted with the feeling of a cool breeze on your neck!
 

Option #9: Look ma! No more neck pain!

Option #10: Remember, you are Naomi. You are the shit.

Photo sources: TheDefamer, TFS

7 comments:

model liberation said...

Her hairline is pretty much non existent. But I blame it on hairstylists who don't know how to do black hair and jack it all up.

Brigitte said...

I've had my hair jacked by many a beautician, black and white, but after awhile the constant pulling of a weave takes its toll, no matter how careful it was put in. I know that many of Naomi's weaves are done by Ellin LaVar and that chic is no hack.

K said...

Man...I've never seen her with an Afro. Of course, when you think about it, with that face and fierceness anything can be rocked.

sdg1844 said...

I remember all those covers. I have been following Naomi since 88. She can do better. She just has to be gentle w/her hair.

Shaymer said...

"Remember, keeping some texture does not mean losing the white boy". LOL, this is too funny! I don’t think her suitors will be going anywhere regardless of her hairstyle. Number 6 is so true. I believe we are kindred sprits in hair care. I frequent plenty of forums that could definitely help our girl out. Naomi is such a natural beauty. I pray that she finds someone willing to give her much needed advice about her hairline.

aziza said...

(laughs!) And this is why I love you. You're so funny and you're always so right!

"Girl, it is time to step backi from the yaki," and "I am telling you right now that that person, whoever it was, was a hater. You had the face for it because you are freaking NAOMI CAMPBELL!!! If you created fire, that person would have tried to to stamp it out," had me rollin!

justme said...

poor thing and her hairline! i still love her.